A Mommy Blogger

I am ashamed to admit that last night was the first Back to School Night that we attended even though Denice and Duncan have been at their current school since they were 2 years old.

I am glad we went though, because their desks would have looked woefully neglected if we had failed to show up! On each desk was a folder with a progress report and some of their work in it.

The program for the evening. There are only five kids in their class. There were six earlier, and I do not know why the other little girl who had been attending the same school for as long as Denice and Duncan is no longer attending the school.

Denice’s desk and a sheet reflecting how she felt about being in school.

Parents and siblings of the school kids.

Duncan’s desk is right next to the teacher’s (the lady in green is one of his teachers).  He has difficulty focusing and following instructions and placing his desk next to the teacher’s has made a whole lot of difference.  According to the teacher that is!

Denice proudly showing her desk.

A view of the classroom. Small and cozy.

Both Denice and Duncan like being in kindergarten and I think both are adjusting well to the new routine. They have homework twice a week, and so far have coped quite well with it.

Early next month, they will be going on their first field trip, and if they need a parent to go along with them, I might consider going.

I do not know how to swim, and Doug, for the past two summers have wanted me to enroll the kids for swim lessons. We spent much of this summer in Malaysia but there was no swimming classes available at the time we were in Malaysia.

We bought a pair of water wings each for the kids, and Duncan took to the pool like a duck to a pond. The first time I took them to the pool, they frolicked in the kiddie pool. Duncan floated on his back and dog paddled.

As for Denice, it took her a while before she even dared to get into the pool. As her confidence grew, she walked the length and breadth of the kiddie pool. Then she started flapping her hands in the water, and after a while she bent her knees a little as she walked in the pool. Later on she bent her knees even further and allowed herself to be under the water up to her shoulders. It is a good start for a child who is fearful of most things.

It is just too bad that I did not bring them to the pool any more after that.

There was a pool at the hotel we stayed at while in Sibu. It drizzled a bit that afternoon so Daddy and the kids did not stay all that long at the pool. There was no kiddie pool, but that did not bother Duncan at all. It was Daddy who was concerned about Duncan paddling to the deep end of the pool.

As for Denice, she had a suit with built-in floats on, plus the water wings on her arms. Yet she was too afraid to get into the water! She did however get onto Daddy’s back, but she screamed when Daddy went under water and she was partially covered in the water.

There’s still time for them to enroll in swim lessons, and there is a public pool right here in our little town. Naturally, I do not want for my kids not to be able to swim!

Here are the cards, and a couple of hearts that the kids brought home from school today. Auntie Kathy, the kids’ tutor, have helped them with something too. But I won’t get to see them till Mother’s Day. It’s a surprise, say the kids!

Showing off their craft work.

What the inside of the card says.

The cards and the hearts again.

Last week, when we were in Disneyland, not everything was enjoyable for Denice. Denice has always been very fearful of animals, and during that trip to Disneyland she did not want to go on any of the rides. The few that she got on, she did not realize they were going to freak her out.

We took her on the Pirates of the Caribbean ride which was loud, dark and filled with characters from the movie. We took her on the Soaring ride, and she closed her eyes and cried the whole time she was on that ride. We went on the Monster Inc. because we told her it was not that frightening. She didn’t really enjoy the ride but at least she didn’t cry! We also went on the Adventureland ride with snapping alligators suddenly rising out of the water that spooked Denice. She was not very happy during that ride.

She did not want to go on any more rides after that. Not the carousel, not the Dumbo rides, and forget about taking the Pinocchio ride and Snow White Scary Adventures ride!

She did, however, enjoy the Tiki Room, the Aladdin stage show, and the sail boat ride round the lake.

My sister-in-law even suggested that I take Denice to a psychologist to be evaluated. She thinks that at Denice’s age the fears seemed irrational. I don’t think so. She is just not that adventurous and I believe she will outgrow these fears.

I found the following excerpt helpful in understanding fears, anxiety, and phobias in children. It was taken from kidshealth.org.

Parents can help children develop the skills and confidence to overcome fears so that they don’t evolve into phobic reactions. Here are some steps that may help guide you in helping your child deal with his or her fears and anxieties:

* Recognize that the fear is real. As trivial as a fear may seem, it feels real to your child and it’s causing him or her to feel anxious and afraid. Being able to talk about fears helps - words often take some of the power out of the negative feeling. If you talk about it, it can become less powerful.
* Never belittle the fear as a way of forcing your child to overcome it. Telling your child, “Don’t be ridiculous! There are no monsters in your closet!” may get your child to go to bed, but it won’t make the fear go away.
* Don’t cater to fears, though. If your child doesn’t like dogs, don’t cross the street deliberately to avoid one. This will just reinforce that dogs should be feared and avoided. Provide support and gentle care as you approach the feared object or situation with your child.
* Teach your child how to rate fear. If your child can visualize the intensity of the fear on a scale of 1 to 10, with 10 being the strongest, he or she may be able to “see” the fear as less intense than first imagined. Younger children can think about how “full of fear” they are, with being full “up to my knees” as not so scared, “up to my stomach” as more frightened, and “up to my head” as truly petrified.
* Teach coping strategies. Try these easy-to-implement techniques. Using you as “home base,” the child can venture out toward the feared object, and then return to you for safety before venturing out again. The child can also learn some positive self-statements, such as “I can do this” and “I will be OK,” which your child can say to himself or herself when feeling anxious. Relaxation techniques are helpful as well, including visualization (of floating on a cloud or lying on a beach, for example) and deep breathing (imagining that the lungs are balloons and letting them slowly deflate).

The key to resolving fears and anxieties is to overcome them. Using these suggestions, you can help your child better cope with life’s situations.

Did you see that controversial picture of Miley Cyrus? Miley is a beautiful 15-year-old with a fully developed woman’s body. I blame her minder and her parents for allowing her to pose semi-topless. Miley may be 15-years-old, but she is fully conscious of her sexuality and not adverse to showing off her body. I am sure when Annie Leibovitz discussed that particular photo shoot of Miley, Miley must have felt very grown up at the prospect of a sexy pose to be published on Vanity Fair.

Until she saw the photo and the subsequent fall-out, she did not realize what a mistake it was for her at 15, to have such a racy picture of herself taken. She is after all, not Paris Hilton, who is famous for being famous. Miley has a kids TV show, a popular one at that, with a huge young following. Even my 4-year-old knows who Hannah Montana is!

But then again, is Miley any different from most 15-year-olds who want to flaunt their sexuality? Taking pictures of themselves in their underwear and sharing them on their MySpace accounts? The only difference between Miley and the average 15-year-old is that she is famous and living in a fish bowl. I, for one, do not wish to see her go the way of Lindsay Lohan or Britney Spears.

As a parent of a very young daughter, I foresee the challenges of raising a girl in a society where girls are becoming increasingly sexualized at a very young age.

Some weeks ago I ordered some butterfly caterpillars from Insect Lore. Kathy, my kids tutor, thought it would be good for the kids to watch the different stages of a butterfly’s growth. Kathy had already done the butterfly thing at the kindergarten she teaches, and already had most of the equipment like the butterfly cage.

The order arrived within a few days with instructions on what to do with each stage. I did not think to document the progress of the caterpillars and so I did not take any picture of the caterpillars, until later that is! There were five caterpillars in the cup, and the instruction said to move them when they have all climbed to the top of the cup and reached the chrysalis stage.

Kathy helped move them from the cup into this cage. We used cellophane tape to stick the piece of paper that lined the cap of the cup and from which the chrysalis hung.

This was the first of the butterflies that came out of the cocoon. Two more came out in the afternoon. The following day the last two came out. I placed some fresh flowers in the cage and sprinkled sugar water on the flowers.

On the third day, after the last two butterflies had come out of the cocoon we decided to release them. Denice did not witness the release because she was afraid to get too close to the butterflies and the geese that were wandering in the back yard.

The butterflies in the cage before they were released.

They butterflies needed some help getting out of the cage.

Four butterflies flew away and I couldn’t see where they eventually disappeared to. The last one flew up towards the quince tree and landed on some flowers. She feasted on the flowers and stayed there for quite a while.

The name of this particular butterfly is the painted lady. It is the most common type of butterfly found in this country. Maybe next year we can try a different kind of insect for the kids to watch as they grow.

Last Friday, the kids had a special program at their school. Among the fun things they did were egg painting, Easter egg hunt, and made bunny ears.

Here’s Denice and Duncan with a classmate.

The Easter eggs they painted at school. Duncan’s is the dark pink one.

At Church on Easter Sunday, they colored, made a tomb and a rabbit out of twinkies and chocolate, and did a little egg hunt. Denice couldn’t wait till we got home and started digging into her bag of candy while we were in the car!

No candy before nap time, that’s the rule.

Does your child cough at night?  Even when he is not suffering from a cold?

Duncan once had a cough that lasted more than a month.  He was not quite one year old at that time.  We tried giving him all kinds of cough mixtures but none helped his cough.  Finally, a pharmacist recommended an allergy medication.  It worked!  His coughing stopped

Now of course we know better.  Cough and cold medicines are not good for young children.  On his last visit to the doctor, also something to do with his cough, the doctor prescribed an inhaler called Qvar.  So far Qvar has worked really well for him.  His cold related coughs clear quite quickly with Qvar.

I also think that Duncan has some problem with allergies.  He is prone to night time coughing which sounds like dry coughs.  He doesn’t cough during the day so I am not in the habit of giving him his two puffs of Qvar before bed time.  But when his coughing persists, I will wake him up and give him the two puffs.

His dad has allergies and I won’t be surprised if Duncan inherits that gene that is prone to allergies!

I just read something about the relationship between eczema and asthma.  Denice has eczema and she coughs even more often than Duncan does.  The cough seems to be ongoing.  She doesn’t cough for a while and not long after that she will start coughing again.  Qvar has also been quite effective in reducing her coughing, for which I am glad!

This winter, the colds and sniffles in the family weren’t too bad.  Denice was the only one who had to stay home for a few days because of the cold she had.

Let’s hope the rest of the year will be a healthy one for every one in the family!

We do not have pets except for two gold fish and twelve geese. We can’t have a cat in the house because Doug is allergic to cats. We might keep a dog, a medium sized dog, maybe some time in the future.

For now, I don’t think we can have any pets of the four legged kind.

Denice has a big fear of animals. She has always been a fearful child and I do not think her fear of cats and dogs has anything to do with any bad experiences with the animals.

But the strange thing though, once we stopped to watch our neighbor’s horse, and she said she’d like to ride the horse. She does not seem to be afraid of horses or mules. She has taken a ride on her aunt’s donkey with daddy sitting with her on the donkey. She wasn’t afraid.

But she is very afraid of cats and dogs. She will jump on a chair or table if she sees a cat and cry in fear. If she sees a dog even if the dog is on a leash quite a distance away from her, she will cling to daddy’s legs and ask to be picked up. She refuses to enter a friend’s house because this friend has to two dogs, unless assurances are made that the dogs are outside in the back yard.

She’s afraid of the geese we have in our back yard too! We have a fenced area in the back yard so she can still play in that area without fear of the geese.

I don’t think her fear of dogs was helped when, during a visit to the grandparents, the cousin’s dog jumped on her! The poor girl was practically traumatized from that experience!

I don’t know how long it will be before she gets over that fear. Duncan has been asking for a cat, which I don’t think he’ll be likely to get any time soon. Maybe a rabbit?

Fear is a natural protective instinct in children, and as a child grows older certain fears will also lessen. We hope the same is true for Denice, and we are not pushing for her to get over her fears quickly. Let her get over her fears at her own pace.

THESE trinkets may look harmless - but they are the secret symbols used by paedophiles to communicate with each other.

The logos - etched into rings and coins and formed into pendants - have been sent to Scottish police by the FBI.

The US crimebusters warn that child abusers use them to indicate their sick sexual preferences.An FBI spokesman said: “This report has been made available to police forces in Scotland.

“These signs and symbols enable paedophiles to meet in the workplace or in social situations for the first time.”People with the same rings could identify each other as paedophiles.

“Abusers who prefer girls use a small heart-shaped logo surrounded by a larger heart which symbolizes a relationship between an adult male or female with a girl. Those targeting boys use a blue spiral-shaped triangle surrounded by a larger triangle.

Those who abuse both use a butterfly-shaped logo or one with rounded corners to resemble a scribbling by a young child.
Full story here.

The BoyLover logo’ (BLogo) “is a small blue spiral-shaped triangle surrounded by a larger triangle, whereby the small triangle represents a small boy and the larger triangle represents an adult man. A variation of the BLogo is the Little Boy Lover logo (LBLogo), which also embodies a small spiral-shaped triangle within a larger triangle; however, the corners of the LBLogo are rounded to resemble a scribbling by a young child.”

The ChildLover logo’ (CLogo), “resembles a butterfly and represents non-preferential gender child abusers.”

The GirlLover logo’ (GLogo) is “a small heart surrounded by a larger heart, which symbolizes a relationship between an adult male or female and minor girl.”

Now that we know about these symbols let’s all be extra vigilant when we see strange adults around children. We cannot be too careful.