A Mommy Blogger

I can get sooo aggravated when my kids start their whining! Why do kids, preschoolers in my case, whine?

According to an article by Julie Tilsner from Parenting.com, preschoolers whine because they have a low threshold for frustration, plus they might be going through some changes like starting school, or changing to a big kid’s bed.

There are ways, according to the article that can help kids break the whining habit.

The great thing about preschoolers is that they can still be distracted by a clever trick. For instance, Debbie Granick of St. Louis uses a “whine” cup, or bowl or bucket or whatever’s at hand. “Whenever one of them starts, I say, ‘Here, go pour out your whine and bring me your regular voice.’ It gets a smile, or at least that ‘Oh, Mom’ look, and then they’ll usually change their tone.” She then thanks her child for using a “pleasant” voice. Or whisper your answer back. “You may have to whisper it several times, but your child will have to be quiet to hear you, and a lot of times he’ll mimic your tone of voice,” says Karen Shaffer, a mom of three in Highland, California.

By the time they’re 4, most kids are able to understand that their behavior has consequences. So you can start using the “I can’t understand you when you whine” technique. “When my children complain, I say, ‘I’m sorry, but when you talk in that voice, I can’t understand anything you’re saying. Use your normal voice and I’ll try to listen to you.’ Then I ignore them until they start to comply,” says Audrey Smith, a mom of two in Long Beach, California. It works, she says, but you have to be as consistent as possible. And that’s not easy, as we all know. Who among us hasn’t caved in? Trouble is, if your child sees you can be broken, he’ll simply up the ante, and your whining problem will be worse.

Besides being consistent, look for ways to reinforce the behavior you do want, like thanking him when he repeats his request in a polite tone.

Now I’ll have to think of creative ways to distract my two 4-year-olds whenever they start to get whiny! And I’ll have to learn to be consistent with the way I treat them every time they whine.

My friend, Kathy, the one who gets aggravated by the untidiness in my house, is expecting her first grandchild. Naturally she is very excited at the prospect of becoming a grandma.

Her daughter suggested she converted one of the rooms in her house into a nursery. My goodness, the amount of work she has put into the nursery! Makes me ashamed I did nothing for my kids with regards to their room!

Look at how pretty the nursery is! Kathy and her husband painted most of the room themselves with a little help from another friend. I helped Kathy make the blue gingham valance on the window.

I also made the yellow gingham bumper pads on the crib. The valance and the bumper pads were my two contributions to the nursery. No, I did not pay for the fabric, I only provided the sewing.

One of these days, I will do up the kids’ room. Maybe.

Children can be very aggravating, but when your children come home from their preschool with crafts like this and tell you those are for you, it reminds you that they are worth the aggravation you received from them!

And when they suddenly come up to you and tell you, “I love and like you, Mommy” everything seems right with the world.

Happy Valentine’s Day.

I hate housework! I envy women who have tidy houses and have little children living in their houses as well!

I just can’t seem to find enough space in the house to put things away in! Maybe I should do some spring cleaning and get rid of stuff we hardly ever use, and get rid of some of the mountain of toys that the kids have!

I have a friend, who seems to get aggravated by the sight of the untidiness in my house! Come on, if I can live with my mess, why should it bother her?

I have been trying, unsuccessfully I might add, to get my two 4-year-olds to tidy up after themselves. I have to be there to order them to pick up their toys and put them away, or pick up their clothes and put them in the laundry basket, otherwise nobody wants to pick up after himself/herself!

Grrr.

With two small children children adding to the mess, keeping the house neat and tidy is a near impossibility. Instead of fretting and fussing about the mess, I am just going to have to learn to relax and put up with it.

No point getting all worked up about it, right? After all, it is a HOME, not a show house!

My two kids have a lot of toys. And I do mean a lot!

Despite the many toys, they still want to fight over a particular toy. Usually, it is when an ignored toy gets the attention of one, the other also decides that she wants the to play with the toy too.

Sometimes I just have to remove the toy if neither wants to let the other play with that particular toy first. I mean there’s only so much screaming, crying and foot stamping that I can put up with!

I don’t claim to know the psychology behind the fight but some say it has to do with an act of aggression and power, and some say it is just an act of selfishness.

My kids are not twins but their age difference is only two months. Twins have a special bond and can play and share with each other very well, at least that is what I believe!

For now my advice to both my kids are:

1. Keep your personal toys separate. Do not take the other’s toys without his or her permission.

2. For generic toys, if one has it first, that person plays with it till he or she is done playing with it. If you still want to play with it, ask the other person if he or she will let you play with it first. If that person says no, you just have to wait for your turn.

3. If they fight over a toy, that toy will be removed and neither gets to play with it.

I think these three rules will suffice for now. If you have any tip that works, let me know!

What Age 4 is Like

Generally speaking, you will have to look quick to see 4-year-olds since children this age are on the go. They spend a lot of time being loud and silly and persistent. Four-year-olds are working hard on their independence. Some shocking language may have crept into their vocabulary lately. The enthusiasm of this age comes through in endless talking, planning, remembering and very active imagining.

Physically a 4-year-old can pedal and steer wheeled toys, jump over small objects, throw a ball overhand, write some shapes and letters, and string small wooden beads.

Play time for this age is varied. They enjoy woodworking, clay, flannel boards with pictures, letters and numbers, and collage materials for creating their own art.

They enjoy some friends-only time with a minimum of adult supervision.

Strong feelings and fears may be acted out with dramatic play props such as doctor visits, fire emergencies and robbers.

Four-year-olds might be asked to put away their clean clothes, help fix a snack, put dirty clothes in the hamper or wipe up their own spills. Assign one task at a time and appreciate the effort even when the results are less than perfect.

Source:Parenting Preschoolers Issue #6

Loud and silly. Checked.

Shocking language. Checked.

Pedal and steer wheeled toys. Checked.

Write some shapes and letters. Checked.

String small wooden beads. Checked.

Varied play time. Checked.

Acting out feelings and fears. Checked.

Assign tasks like putting away dirty laundry. Checked.

I guess I am living with two normal preschoolers in our household!

My two kids are only 4-years-old. For now. But one day, they will be teenagers facing teen life challenges, and as a parent I too will be facing the challenges of raising teens.

It cannot be easy being a teenager these days especially with peer pressure and the influences of pop culture. What kid doesn’t want to be popular and fit in with the cool crowd?

The fact that teenagers are more sexually aware than the time of their grandparents and their great-grandparents makes it even more challenging.

Call me old fashioned, but why do parents let their pre-teen daughters wear underwear like thongs? There is no reason for pre-teen girls to be wearing thongs. Thongs are underwear meant to show your sexuality and pre-teen girls have no business being that aware of their sexuality, and parents should not be helping them along with it. There will be time enough when they are older.

I heard a parent on the radio the other day, telling the talk show host about how boyfriends are asking their girlfriends to send nude pictures of themselves via phone.

Teen boys and girls are bombarded with pictures and videos of nude girls and women, and is it any surprise that teen boys are now expecting their girlfriends to share nude pictures of themselves?

The following story should be a tale of caution for girls when they are asked to share nude pictures of themselves, even if those pictures were initially meant to be shared between two girls.

ALLENTOWN, Pa. - Police faced a difficult if not impossible task Thursday as they tried to stop the spread of pornographic video and photos of two high school girls, images that were transmitted by cell phone to dozens of the girls’ classmates and then to the wider world.

District Attorney James B. Martin said at least 40 Parkland High School students believed to have received the images would not face prosecution as long as they show their phones to police by Tuesday to ensure the images have been erased.

But students at the school said the distribution was far more widespread.

Full story here.

Every time I come across a story such as this, the question is always, Where are the parents? Why are parents not aware of what is going on with their children and the friends that they are with?

Parents need to be parents and kids need the guidance from responsible parents.